It is very common for Dads to withdraw from their daughters as they go through puberty. What was once an adoring relationship, somehow gets tainted by the changes a girl goes through. Very well-meaning Dads think they need to get out of the way because this is all ‘women’s stuff’ and doesn’t relate to them. They may become uncomfortable with her physical development because she is no longer the little girl she once was, she is now maturing and he doesn’t want to impose in any way that may be deemed inappropriate. This comes from the tainting of women, and also the tainting of men. The representation of both in society today is far from what they both actually bring.
Boys are often not nurtured to understand a woman’s body and the sensitivity of the changes that happen to girls as they develop…and likewise, the changes and level of sensitivity in their own bodies. They learn from young, just like girls do, that periods are not to be talked about and/or that they are weird, mysterious and perhaps even disgusting. This invisible toxic gas permeates us all on levels we do not even realise. And then we end up with fathers of daughters who do not know how to navigate this time. Their discomfort is not intentional by any means but can be interpreted as rejection from their daughter.
And so the distance begins of what was once a close, adoring and connected relationship. When a girl goes through puberty, there is so much change happening on so many levels – physically, emotionally, mentally and socially. It is a time where the solid presence of a male is incredibly valuable.
Dads, it is so important that you do not withdraw. Your own sensitivity tells you that you do not want her to be influenced or tainted by the sexualization that you see of women everywhere. You want her to hold on to her sweetness and her confidence to just be herself.
This is of course, challenging if you haven’t pulled yourself out of the miasma of lies that surrounds periods, the female body and the projection of what it means to be a woman. In order to continue to hold her in that sweetness that she innately is, along with the preciousness of the woman she is becoming, it is very supportive to have re-educated yourself and be settled with the truth rather than (unintentionally & perhaps unknowingly) still tainted by the lies. It is never too early to do this. The Cycle Wise Parents Course supports you with this!
When a girl feels held by her Dad or another significant male in her life, she will feel more at ease with embracing her womanliness and holding standards for herself, that do not drop below this. So, Dads your role is an incredibly important one and should not be underestimated. Never hold back the purity of your love and adoration for her. Without perfection, and yes there may be some challenging times, your presence can support her to build, at the very least, a foundation of uncompromising care, love and respect for her own body. Invaluable to say the least.
This comprehensive online course is now available - NEXT START DATE - Wednesday 16th June, 2021.
A 6 module series designed to support parents to bring more truth & understanding to periods and to empower them to support the young women in their lives. Through this awareness you will be able to support your daughter to develop a lifelong confidence and understanding of her own body.
Looking for support on how to support the young people in your life on all things periods?
Book a FREE 15 minute consult with Sara to find out more.